Dwarves / The Dangerfields / The Black Spiders

I am a little gob smacked as I write this. It’s not every gig you witness what I just have, but it is my job to share it with you.

First up The Black Spiders, heavily influenced by Black Sabbath, with QOTSA melodies and guitar slides and Soundgarden style vocals. Black and hairy, but with more than eight legs, these Sheffield chaps produce highly impressive dirty rock and roll. ‘St Peters’ is a catchy tune with the repeating line "...Lord knows all the trouble I’m in.."


Tiger on drums is the most enthusiastic and scary looking drummer I have ever seen. I would not have given a couple of sticks to him in the first place. Excellent on the drums, even though he looks confused about which song the band are playing next, it’s a bit like watching Jack Nicholson grinning manically through the door in The Shining.

They are quite laid back compared to The Dangerfields, Belfast’s answer to Snuff. Andrew Griswold on drums provides the main vocals, (I always have respect for singing drummers, as I can not sing or drum, especially at the same time) and even hits Jamie Delerict’s bass strings with one drumstick to produce a bass line; whilst drumming with the other. Guitarist Jasper "Guitar" Vincent gives the whole thing its edge, with astounding guitar solos.

These are like the Irish Goldblade, but using less man power to distribute the beauty of rock and roll (“the only two types of music” they say). Derelict likes to gurn throughout the gig, dressed in a red bandana and white vest with the slogan “This is it”, whilst Griswold looks cool in shades at the back.


Many of their high octane punk songs are based on horror films, like ‘Wolf Man’, ‘The Grudge’, ‘Last House On The Left’ and ‘Bates Motel’, all from the album ‘Born To Rock’. New track ‘Gimme Gimme Rock And Roll’ from upcoming ‘In The Night’ seems to carry on the horror theme. I don’t know what gig number this is for them but they played their 666th show in Belfast on 6th June 2006. A nod to the Omen remake perhaps?

After the final song of ‘Scream Queen’ and trying to get the crowd in the small venue to scream (the second time was better with practice; as Griswold says, “If you want something in life you’ve gotta try and try...forever”). The lads leave to the statement “We are The Dangerfields.....and you’re not!”

I had prepared myself for the Dwarves. So I thought. As soon as the masked one that is He Who Cannot Be Named saunters onstage naked (except for a pro-wrestling mask) I know it is going to be a weird one. His guitar by the way does not cover any of his assets, shall we say.

There is also a priest on bass, and one normal looking guy with a not-so-normal name (Fresh Prince of Darkness – he looks like neither Will Smith or Ozzy Osborne. Well, a little like the latter if you squint).

The riot starts immediately; beer is flying about, He Who is standing on the speaker stacks waving his bit or buttocks (depending on where you are stood) at you. Thankfully I am somewhere at the rear so to speak. I am no prude, but when it’s a strangers and it’s in your face it is a little unnerving. And when it starts to secrete a certain yellow liquid...

I am not the same now. The stories of punk bands spitting, vomiting etc on the crowd; I don’t mind. Quite tasteful in fact. But when they start urinating on the crowd that’s a bit too much. I don’t think He Who aimed for the crowd; maybe he was a little excited (well, actually you would have been able to tell!) but if any piss had of landed near me or my drink that mask may have had to be surgically removed. No jellyfish stings to sort out here, so hold it in.

Back to the music. See that’s what it does; yes it a good show and you will remember it for good or shock points but the music gets forgotten about in reviews as people describe the mayhem of a Dwarves show.



Blag Dahlia spends a lot of the show letting the mosh pit sing the songs, swinging the mic at their faces and generally not caring if he gets it back or not. He doesn’t look to impressed when a girl lobs a full pint at him square in the face, but a band like this should be used to this. Occasionally the priest and Fresh Prince Of Darkness come and stand on the speaker, but it’s usually He Who on his pissy pedestal.

‘Everybody’s Girl’ takes me back to the nineties and skateboarding in the Summer when there happened to be that hot yellow ball in the sky most of the time. The songs come at you thick and fast, and the gig is such a huge swirl of mayhem and madness. Unforgettable but hard to remember as so much happens on stage. The costumes, music, brashness all mixed up and served with a cherry on top. Now I’m going to try and make sense of it all.

FUTURE GIGS

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