an evening with Pete Doherty (and Carl Barat)

The night it all happened. The reunion of the decade. The greatest thing to happen in Indie Rock & Roll since Indie Rock & Roll began. Pete Doherty, Carl Barat, together again, on stage, performing Libertines classic. Breathtaking, Mind Blowing, Beautiful, Serene, blah blah blah blah...

WHATEVER!!!!

	"everyone loves it, but really this is no better than your average gig. Corr, I can envisage the hatemail from Libs fans now. Deal with it folks, this gig just wasn’t that spectacular"

Hey let’s get this straight, each way and every way you look you’re going to read over the top hyperbole about this gig, but I was there sat in the middle of it and you know what? I was BORED. Yea everyone was going mental but it was with sycophantic screams, not shock or amazement. Sorry do I sound like an old humbug? I just can’t understand why people still give a crap about Pete and Carl... neither of them have released anything mind-blowing since the Libertines split up, and there are plenty of new and far more exciting bands out there now to get all frothed up over. My cynical reckoning is it’s a well timed stunt...

Dirty Pretty Things – giveashit? – and Baby Shambles, well, they need a bit of good press if they’re expecting to sell out Wembley bloody Arena later this year. If they do, off the back of this shoddy reunion, it’ll be putting the celebrity cart before the horse, I tell thee.

Here’s how the night panned out. Alan Wass, the man who was arrested for blackmail along with Pete himself steps out first, plays some indifferent acoustic tripe. There’s a painter on the side of the stage pretentiously scrawling what’s happening before him, but tellingly the picture just looks like a lot of brown muck.

Pete comes on and says in his girly voice “Ahhh ohhh hello, we’re gonna have a lovely night aren’t we ohhh” and then they play a few more bits and bobs and this is at 7.30 sharp so most people haven’t even got to the venue yet.

A chap called Bert Jansch comes out next and tells us he was big in the 60s, before noodling away at his acoustic in a very similar manner to Wass only moments before. So far, so boring. Pete comes back out and goes “Ahh ohh hello, is everybody at the bar having a lovely night, yea? Ohhhh” then plays some more stuff nobody recognises.

Bert buggers off (thank god), and Pete plays ‘Killimangiro’. Everybody goes mental and starts singing along, but their excitement is at odds with Pete’s quite acoustic output.

“And now ladies and gentlemen. Ohhh ahhh. Let me please, ohhh, welcome onto the stage, ahhh... MISTER CARLOS BARAT!” Well well the venue EXPLODES with cheers and jeers and people run to the front, corr, how did such a civil venue get so rowdy so fast? “Only joking, you really thought I meant that. Not for £25 people, c’mon.” The crowd starts booing wildly, everyone’s filled with disappointment.

Carl walks on a moment later and everyone erupts into rapturous applause. He’s looking worse than crackhead Pete, how’s that possible? The pair of them hop about playing semi-acoustic run-throughs of ‘What A Waster’, ‘Death On The Stairs’, ‘What Katie Did Next’ and ‘Dilly Boys’. They climax with mass sing-a-long ‘Time For Heroes’ and everyone loves it, but really this is no better than your average gig. Even ‘Don’t Look Back Into The Sun’ sounds standard without a full band backing it. Corr, I can envisage the hatemail from Libs fans now. Deal with it folks, this gig just wasn’t that spectacular.

Kate Moss, Carl and Pete busk in the street afterwards, performing ‘Can’t Stand Me Now’... raa raa raa, it’s all happening yes yes yes greatest gig ever blah blah blah I can’t believe it happened yadda yadda yadda.

Has anyone got a copy of that new Foals single for me instead?

FUTURE GIGS

sorry, we currently have no gigs listed for this act.