Thankfully though, we haven't been tricked into attending a Darkness gig (although with their struggle for fans these days, I wouldn't put it past them) and by the time Valensi's face is in full light and we're reassured he's still looking like every middle-aged mother in Surrey, the other four Strokes are primed around him and it's systems go.
Launching into 'Heart In A Cage' - a fresh cut from new album 'First Impressions Of Earth' - we witness the band who stole the keys to the world and then didn't know what to do with them be granted another chance to justify the wild hysteria that accompanied their initial docking back in 2001. As far as set openers go, it's passable, but thankfully the crowd are so thrilled to simply be at this tiny concert that the band get away with it.
'Room On Fire', the follow-up to smash debut 'Is This It', was a commercial failure, yet it seems people really do want the Strokes to succeed this third time round, as they do their best to muster sincere applause for the first forty minutes, which consists largely of lesser songs of days gone by and new material that fails to deliver on the promise of excellent current single 'Juicebox'.
'The End Has No End' rears itself as the ugly single that shouldn't have been, whilst newie 'On The Other Side' is an indifferent song performed indifferently to an indifferent crowd. Similarly, 'Evening Sun' is enjoyable but standard-fare - the band promised there'd be no more Strokes-by-numbers this time - why'd you break your promise boys? WHY?!
Julian Casablancas is typically apathetic in his stage performance, and still seems to be doubling the usefulness of his time on stage by testing how much of his weight the microphone stand can take. As he props himself up with it, like a Dickensian crutch, slurring down the microphone like he's doing Shane McGowan at karaoke, it seems sad that people have come to expect this kind of blasé performance from them and still readily cheer for it. How did these New York City flops trick us? Why do we let them get away with it?
The answer to that comes like a swift kick to the shins, as the opening bars of 'Last Night' roar at us for taking a sneaky moment to doubt The Strokes. Follow this by 'Hard To Explain' and suddenly the crowd have re-found their muse and are stirring up a frenzy in the stalls. As the show finally finds its momentum, 'Razorblade' cuts through the audience/stage divide with the tension of a particularly nerve-racking episode of Knightmare and those who paid over the odds for touted tickets from the scalpers outside (£90 a snip!) are finally paid dividends for their investment. Suddenly the Strokes are alive and critical!
Most of Casablancas' between song banter is garbled and incomprehensible, at many times it seems he's the front man who isn't there, as the other four hold things up around him. Still, a rare outing of 'Trying Your Luck' preceded by an apology for it being played so little warms the hearts of onlookers and - let's not forget this - the song is great so everyone has a good time.
'Someday' and 'Reptila' are bonafide classics and bring the first part of the show to a climatic end. Returning for a six-song encore, each and every track chosen a triumph, the initial sense of remote, uninspired performance is long forgotten, as 'New York City Cops' sees the Shepherd's Bush Empire pogo furiously together in unison. The band reach a rare moment of genuine sublimity with 'Under Control', a quietly affecting, lighters-to-the-air number that shows the Strokes are capable of musical innovation when they put their mind to it.
'Take It Or Leave It' is a defiant ending and it's up to us to do just that. The Strokes make no defense of what they do, they simply do it - we put them on a pedestal in the first place and whether we choose to pull them down or let them stay, they really don't seem to care. While they may never reach the musical peaks that their debut afforded, they'll still always have the roster of great songs to draw people back again and again - and that's something that will outlast any hype.
FUTURE GIGS
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